My Migraine: A Glitch in the Matrix
Migraines with aura and aphasia
seem like a glitch in the matrix.
As the alarm jingled at 5:00 a.m., I jumped out of bed and hit the floor for some cat cow stretches. “I’m strong,” I said to myself as I plunged into my set of push ups. “Twenty-one.” Pause. Breathe “Twenty-two, twenty-three, twen…ty four.” Breathe. “Twenty-five” I pulled back into child’s pose briefly then back to plank. “Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine….thirty!” Thirty push ups was my new morning record, and not too shabby for a 53-year old woman. Heck, last year at this time, I wasn’t able to do ten push-ups.
I grabbed my coffee and put a sprinkle of cinnamon and some mct oil and sat on my chair to do my morning journal. I’m grateful for so many things like my dog, my health, my partner and my career. If you would have asked me that morning, I’d have told you I was happier and healthier than almost any time in my life.
I assumed that over six months of eating healthy, no sugar or alcohol, plus meditation, focused exercise and mindfulness sent my migraines packing for good. Of course, the sinister brain attacks would often creep in when I least expected, and that’s what happened this afternoon, right before an important meeting about a grant that my theatre program received.
I was just straightening up after my 2nd Block Tech Theatre class. I was pleased with how well the students completed their presentations and I was answering an email when I saw the kaleidoscope zig zag appear in my field of vision. My first migraine in over six months entered like a glitch in my perfectly designed program.
At home I’d have an arsenal of things to attract this invader such as ginger tea, topical magnesium, peppermint oil, ice packs, and a nice dark room where I could rest until it abated. I did have some tea, but not much else as it had been so long since I suffered a migraine that I didn’t even bring my usual quick fixes. I quickly made some bone broth and ginger tea and told the principal I was getting a migraine.
I went back to my classroom and tried a few quick pressure points and breathing exercises, but my guests arrived and I had to begin the meeting. I explained that I was having a migraine, but I don’t think they quite understood the severity.
You see, I’m one of those people who not only has a migraine with aura, but I also frequently develop transient aphasia where I have difficulty speaking and finding words. Often I can deploy measures to prevent this, but today I felt like a bubble was forming over me–separating me from the outside world as well as my own inner knowledge. I struggled to find the simplest of terms to describe things. Words would float into my mind, yet seem unfamiliar as the wind whisked them away like loose balloons.
“I’m sorry, I can’t think right now,” I struggled to say.
My guests left and I had about 30 minutes left until my next class. I poured salt on my salad (I heard sodium helps with migraines) and drank more tea. I sat and did some deep breathing. I was still nauseous, but I felt my cognition return, and I was able to teach without any problems. I also had a long after-school meeting, and my head still hurt, but I was basically better. I went home and fell asleep.
While I was functional, it took a couple of days to fully recover. I always have what I call a “residual migraine” consisting of brain fog and tiredness that lingers. The worst thing for me, though, was that for that one hour during the aura and aphasia, I felt like I was out of my body, out of control and in another world. It was frightening and embarrassing because this happened in front of people. Every other time I felt a migraine coming on I could retreat to a dark room and rest it out. This time I had to barrel through it in real time.
After every migraine I say I never want to have one again, and I am especially adamant this time. I don’t know what the trigger was, but my jaw, neck and shoulders were very tight. I wonder what I need to do to prevent such a “glitch” in the future.